Elmer “El” Scorcho
Little is known about the masked wrestler named El Scorcho. What we do know is that he was born in Rural, Wisconsin and later migrated to Zagreb, Yugoslavia. This explains the peculiar accent and the fact that he sounds like he’s always yeling. It was while in Yugoslavia that El discovered his true love: murdering. He wrestles mainly to pay the bills.

Destructor! “D” Scorcho
Destructor! is the youngest of El’s children. He is essentially a self-absorbed, self-centered cry-baby who’s politics are more fashionable than substantive and who’s fashion is dependant almost entirely on ironic statements. He is appalled by violence and wholly unable to stand up for himself. He is the charecter that the author describes as “most like me”.

Karl
Karl is actually a real person. In real life Karl likes Transformers more than he likes Voltron. That’s basically the only diffrence.

Dr. Verruca Vulgaris M.D.
Behind every great man is a great proctologist. Dr. Vulgaris is widely considered to be one of the finest butt men in the civilized world. If you want a strange man in a blood-spattered lab coat to stick his hand in your bum, he’s the man for you!

Jacob the Ninja
Despite what Jacob may tell you, he really is a ninja. That being said, we respect his right to self-identify however he sees fit.